So my Sunday starts at 5:45 AM. No, I wasn't stumbling home from a night of debauchery and decadence, I was waking up for work. Great start. Two things on my mind upon my early awakening. Let me light up this morning cigarette and let me take a gander at sportsbook.com to take a look at how I'm going to lose money for the day
Two things that must be understood about betting on sports. A) There are no locks in gambling. B) The only lock is that you're inevitably going to lose money to the gambling god, GAMBLOR. Gamblor is an omnipresent, malevolent god, that can manifest himself in any double digit point spread, weather front, suspiciously poor refereeing, place kicker with the shanks, shell shocked quarterback, and a relatively unknown wide receiver that lights up a normally stout secondary for 150 receiving yards and two touchdowns. If you've ever gambled for more than one weekend of football, you've seen Gamblor with your own eyes. The havoc created by this mischiveous deity is the juice. It truly sucks you into the world of vice. The allure and eventual dismay of gambling can lead to many things; going to an evangelical church and becoming born again (best case scenario). More often than not, a serious gambling problem leads to any or all of the following; a terrible coke habit, betting with hypothetical money that you clearly don't have (a la American Banks over the past two decades), whoring your girlfriend out, or ending up face down in the gutter somewhere conscious or not.
Welcome Gamblor into your life.
Friday, we go in...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday Morning StruggleBack...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Bryce Harper: The Future of Baseball
I'm sure many of you sports addicts have already read up on this kid, but if you haven't, do yourself a favor and watch this video (Skip the annoying ads). Bryce Harper, a 16 year old from Las Vegas, is basically the most highly touted baseball prospect of all time. The 16 year old catcher has blazing fast speed, hits home runs over 500 feet and throws a 96 MPH fastball. They say his skill level as a sophomore is equivalent to the skill that other once-a-decade prospects Alex Rodriguez and Justin Upton had as SENIORS. Give this kid two years and he'll be throwing 100 MPH gas and hitting the ball 600 feet consistently. Many are saying he is the Lebron James of baseball. I'm way down. Mets?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Lebron: Skipping The Handshake
Lebron James' actions after losing the series to Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic were completely justified. I don't give two fucking shits about sportsmanship. This dude did everything in his power to take his team to the finals. He averaged 38-8-8 in the series, hit a game winning 3-pointer, played 44 of the possible 46 minutes every game, and threw his body around like a Randy the Ram. What did his teammates do? Good question, Name! They shat the bed. Mike Brown shat the bed. The organization shat the bed. In fact, everyone except Lebron James woke up with heaping shat in their bed. He should be angry. Not angry at Orlando, but angry with the Cavs.
I understand that being the focal point of the NBA, and the idol of a generation of young basketball players brings a level of responsibility with it. It's like Spiderman. With great power comes...whatever. But I think that kind of reaction is what the NBA needs. Stop being a drone. Get in fights. Choke your coach. Be competitive, not nice. Tell Dwight Howard your going to block his soft turn around, then prance down the court and dunk down the throat of the city of Orlando.
Calling Lebron a brat is just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Not only is he extremely easy going, but dude is a one man team who asks very little of his SCRUB teammates. He's not the first player to skip handshakes. Anyone ever watch baseball or football? Cats are salty as a motherfucker after big losses. Sports journalism is too much for me sometimes.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Carlos Zambranooo Don't Do That!
Carlos Zambrano, a pitcher known for his dramatic outbursts, went youwildin.com on the diamond last night over a home plate call that didn't go his way. Feeling his explusado hardbody. Also, is he not the biggest baseball player anyone has ever seen? Yahoo! Sports has him at 6-5 255 but it looks like he weighs three and change.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
This makes me laugh...
Look at that photo. Is this two different dudes? Nope!I'm a Yankee fan, so the fact that this dude has NO HOME-RUNS this season. Big HR King falls off once steroid testing becomes more rigorous. This just makes me laugh. Check his stats here. Truly pathetic, and I couldn't be more happy about it. When do you think the steroid revelations come out about him? He needs to come forward.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
TIKI TAKA!!!!!! The Boy Wonder...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Around the League
The NBA trade deadline is looming. In 18 hours the window of opportunity for the Knicks to make a play for Amar'e, or any other team to make a major move, will be closed. WHO WILL IT BE!?!?!?!?!?!?
Dumbin' Out in New Orleans
I understand times are tough and shedding a high paid player is probably the result of some shrewd decision of the managing partners... BUT DAMN... JOE SMITH!!?? I understand the man looks like Clyde 'The Glyde' Drexler, but that doesn't mean he can play like him.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Heat vs. Bulls 2.12.09
What a fantastic way to win a game. Shawn Marion goes PornHub facial compilation on Thabo Sefolosha.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A-Rod Admits to Prior Steroid Use...SHOCKER!
Yankees Third Baseman Alex Rodriguez admitted to using performance enhancing drugs yesterday in an exclusive interview with ESPN's Peter Gammons. After repeated denials on questions concerning his potential steroid use in the past few years, A-Rod has finally come clean; admitting to steroid use in 2001-2003 while he was with the Texas Rangers.
With the witch hunt that has become major league baseball, few high profile baseball players have been exempt from the suspicious eye of the general public. Desperate sports writers, self-righteous, crusading politicians (George Mitchell), in-house MLB leaks/snitches, and money hungry, limelight seeking trainer types have broken down the house of cards that was major league baseball for the past 20 years.
Alex Rodriguez has joined the illustrious club SCTJ - also known by players within its membership as "Sluggers Clearly Taking Juice". A-Rod can now enjoy the company of Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Rafael Palmiero, Sammy Sosa, Gary Sheffield, Jason Giambi, Ken Caminetti, and a multitude of other players that remain closeted (there time is coming).
Now that I have gotten past the obvious, we can now go into the calamity that Alex Rodriguez is as a human being. Alex Rodriguez is a spineless, insecure bitch, that gets no sympathy from me or any other non-Yankee fan on this planet. Since Alex Rodriguez has been a Yankee, he's done nothing but bring trouble to himself, his rep, and the fabled team that pays him astronomical amounts of money. Allow me to run everyone threw the gauntlet.
1) A-Rod is an admitted steroids user - The gravity of this may be unknown to a casual sportsfan. A-Rod has been adament throughout his career, that he has never taken any illegal, performance enhancing drugs. In an interview with Katie Couric on December 17, 2007, Alex Rodriguez outrightly denied ever having used steroids. Stating "I got tested 8 or 9 times" (yeah that doesn't mean you weren't dirty). In response to Couric's question of his possible steroid usage, "I've never felt over-matched on the baseball field. I've always felt very strong and in a dominant position." Over a year later, A-Rod, the man obsessed with stats, self-image, and repuation has confirmed prior steroid use. If your going to be fucking noble, and this clean baseball robot that you attempt so vehemently to project on the public, DON'T TAKE STEROIDS!
2) A-Rod Impotent in Post-Season - As a Yankee, A-Rod has hit .230 BA, 4 HRs and 9 RBI in 24 post season games. I will also add, that what little success he has is completely inflated by hitting .421, 1 HR, and 3 RBI in a four game set with the Twins in '04, and another 2 HR and 5 RBI in the first three games against the Red Sox in '04, before the worst play-off collapse in American sports history. In the final four games, A-Rod hit 2-15. Showing what little sack he has left after three years of steroids abuse, becomes non-existent in crunch time.
3) A-Rod Pipes Madonna - Explain to me, how a person that makes over $27.5 a year, is 33, and at the pinnacle of his career would need to bone Madonna. She's fucking 50! I don't give a fuck if Madonna represents and exhibits the sexuality of our generation (actually probably not even the generation of YW writers and editors, because we were real young one when she was putting in work in the 80's). She speaks with a British accent, she looks as if she kind of has a permanent coke problem, and she's 50. Being worth hundreds of millions of dollars could land you 99.6% of the female population on planet earth! Looks aside...You could be the Elephant Man with that kind of cake and you could sleep with anyone you want. Explain to me how you were willing to be in every tabloid in the world for Madonna.
4) Lack of Swagger - This is a big, big problem. All-Worldly Talent and tremendous wealth, gives you the right to do whatever the fuck you want. You want to get away with murder, take advantage of a girl, make it rain at the club, shoot someone or yourself, whatever, money can allow you to do these things. Unfortunately that is the world we live in. A-Rod - in a direct conflict with his god given talent, has negative bravado. He has hired a life coach, swatted a ball feebly out of Bronson Arroyo's glove in desperation to get on base in the '04 ALCS, followed Jeter around like a puppy in his first year with the Yanks, and has repeatedly given the press outlandishly pussy feedback when inquiring about his life...
"I'm having a hard time finding a date. I don't trust any women I meet. I'm very skeptical."* - I always thought he was kind of dodgy, especially with his frost tipped hair, whatever that's him.
"I'm not impulsive at all — except about buying clothes. That's my biggest weakness."* Pretty much reinforcing my thoughts.
"I was one of those guys who really enjoyed homework. Sometimes I got kidded by my teammates. But I think kids should really participate in school and always have their homework done"* - That's why you were in the pros when you were 19, because you were really feeling homework.
"Looks aren't the number one thing. They have to have class, intelligence, then looks. If I was the ugliest SOB in the world it would be a lot easier."* Don't really know what this is in reference too, I just know he gets wild arrogant at the end.
* http://www.baseball-almanac.com/quotes/alex_rodriguez_quotes.shtml
5) Per At Bat Cake-A-Thon - Being a sports fan its hard for me to say athletes should make less money. I watch games, attend games, and by random, moderately priced apparell. But I will let you wrap your minds around this...
A-Rod makes roughly $27.5 mill a year (If you want numbers because your a fiend go to Elias Sports Bureau or Sports almanac or some shit). He has averaged just about 590 At Bats per season, since his first full year with the Mariners. What does that equate to per at bat based on his '09 salary????? $47,457,62 per at bat. Yes, A-Rod makes 50k an at bat. Pretty much making 8 g's for a foul ball. I can't even wrap my mind around that. Last year, you know when he struck out 117 times, he was making $5,552,541.54 striking out! That is amazing, getting 5.5 mill for failure is almost as hot at getting 100 million dollar bonuses when your company is begging on hands and knees for government bailout money. FAILURE = WEALTH? Where's my cake then?
Thanks A-Rod, you just consumed hours of my life you puss. Never again will I pay that much attention to you (pause!).
Monday, February 9, 2009
Buggin' Out in Memphis
With their rost stacked to the brim with talent like Marc Gasol, Darko Milicic and Hakim Warrick , one wouldn't think that the missing link in this team would be an assistant coach. But then again the Grizzlies aren't known for shrewd decision making. ("Look, we should definately sign Darius Miles. Don't you remember that funny thing him and Queintin Richardson used to do? The head bop? And look how good Quentin turned out"...)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Michael Phelps: Pot smoking thug.
As most of you have already heard, Michael Phelps was recently photographed smoking a bong. The media are reporting that the picture will most likely destroy the multiple million dollar endorsement deals he has under his belt. Good for him. Honestly. Thank fucking god. Homeboy is a swimmer. He only actually competes every 4 years. Obviously he's going to smoke herb, bang girls, gamble and drink quite a bit in between Beijing and the 2012 Olympics in London. That's his mid-20's. What else are they for? What do you expect him to do: Keep swimming and training everyday? Why? So he can go back and shit on everyone again? Nah man. Let's make this shit interesting. Let's get really fat, maybe lose a hand to a hatchet wielding bookie, and puff gravity bongs before Olympic qualifiers. That's wussup man. Remember, you're a fucking swimmer. You were meant to suck at life. I don't even know any cool kids who swim well. Pick up a fucking basketball for Christ sake. Maybe your freak-like body will excel at grabbing rebounds you oblong, you. Eh. That's all I got man. That's all I got.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Spooky Injury During BCS Bowl Game
Last night during the BCS National Championship, a Florida player suffered a horrific injury. I've never been one to WANT to watch these mishaps, but I figured I'd provide our readers with the option. The aftermath of the injury is the scariest part. This kid is obviously in some serious fucking pain. My heart goes out to him.
Also, thanks for the win, Florida. You just extended my betting season significantly.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Why Shaq needs to learn to shoot free throws...
For all those that are familiar with the oft-used Hack-a-Shaq strategy employed by every team that faces a squad with Shaquille O'Neal on their roster, you will find the following video funny once put in context. Shaq recently called out the Spurs for their usage of the strat in the first round of the playoffs last year, which saw the Shaq's Suns eliminated by the Spurs in 5-games. Shaq said it was "a coward move" to use such a technique. Now, if it was me that was called a coward by Shaq, I would only talk shit behind his back and not do anything to his face. But Gregg Popovich, coach of the Spurs who looks more and more like the unabomber everyday that he allows his beard to grow, is a real dude. He does this, 5 seconds into the NBA season: