We Report, You Decide...How Much We're Wildin

Fox News, the cheese burger and freedom fries of American media, has once again outdone themselves. The network that has given voice to such stalwart wilders as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and our wilder par excellence Mr. Bill O'Reily, is wildin once more. Apparently boggled by Barack and Michelle Obama's fist pound, Fox News commentator E.D. Hill, with the help of a stunningly articulate "body language expert," analyzed the Obamas' "terrorist fist jab..." Terrorist. Fist. Jab. Excuse me?


Only the wilders of American media could concoct such a ballsy description of the common fist pound. The interesting thing about Fox News' wilding is their unabashed sincerity. Self-anointed conservative media's in-depth analysis, producing such quotables as "terrorist fist jab," is founded in a conviction to conservatism so strong that its attempts to rescue America from the grips of liberal elitism, Mexican invasion, and wilders such as ourselves actually results in reactionary wilding of the highest order.

Don't believe me? Take conservative radio personality, actor, and onetime head of the White House plumbers union, G. Gordon Liddy who recently claimed that undocumented immigrants from Mexico come to the United States and "want to fly the Mexican flag" and "want to speak Spanish" instead of learning English. Liddy then stated: "They want to reconquer America, they say."

Conservative media, you wildin!