Pic(s) of the Day 05.15.09

The NBA has treated us to some spectacular playoff games this year – a plethora of close contests, clutch shots, hard fouls, shit talking (I see you, Mark Cuban), and endless overtimes -- and we’re only halfway done. But for more than half of the players in the NBA, the season is already over. So what do superstar athletes do during the off-season?

Joakim Noah (pictured above), for one, used a pair of breasts and some vacation time in St. Barts to get over a first round loss to the Boston Celtics. Who needs an NBA championship when you have the world’s most perfect breasts pressed against your chest? Seriously, that girl’s tits are so perpendicular to her chest – they defy the laws of perkiness and gravity – Newton would’ve needed to create another law of physics to explain their existence. Are they fake? Probably, but by the look on Noah face, I don’t think he cares.

Of course, basking in the glory of oversized breasts isn’t the only way to spend your off- season. Just ask Darius Miles. The 27-year-old Memphis Grizzlies forward spent his Wednesday night in jail after being charged with possession of marijuana. Miles, who was suspended last season for violating the NBA’s anti-drug program (hmm, I wonder if it was for weed?), was pulled over in Fairview Heights, Ill. for allegedly failing to use a turn signal and, more likely, for being black in a rich, white suburban neighborhood. Upon searching his ’96 Chevy Impala (come one, Darius, you can’t afford a car less than 10 years old), officers found less than 2.5 grams of tree in his glove compartment. After being charged with a misdemeanor, Miles was free on bond Thursday morning.

It’s no secret that basketball players love weed, but there’s a limit to how much one person can smoke. Apparently, that notion was lost on former journeyman forward Corey Blount (actually pronounced “blunt,” which makes this story all the more fitting). On Wednesday, Blount, who’d been arrested with 11 pounds of sticky icky at his grandmother’s house in December, reached a plea agreement with Ohio authorities that will put him in jail for the next year. After the December arrest, authorities searched the former first-round pick’s home and found another 18 pounds of weed and $34,000. Blount explained to the court that he’d been very depressed since leaving the NBA and that the pot was intended for personal use only, to which the judge responded, “Cheech and Chong would have had a hard time smoking that much.” Touché, your honor.

Check back later for a review of Cam’ron’s new album “Crime Pays”…