Beware! Biker Gangs in Soho!

Last week, Strat was so kind to invite me to another incredibly pretentious fashion industry party. Of course, if the bar is open so are we, so we gladly roll up to stare at women and get our booze on. The event, hosted at the Agnes B. store in SoHo, was to celebrate a sneaker collaboration between DC and Anges B. I've always considered myself fashionable, with my ear to the runway (nh), but these parties are really on some other shit. I don't even know if VT has the wardrobe to compete. Exhibit A: Black biker gloves. As we stood in the corner and double-fisted Asahi we noticed not one, but four or five unrelated dudes around us rocking these in various colors and styles. My question is, at what point in getting dressed do you decide to put on fingerless leather gloves? This is a fucking problem. Homey, you try too hard. If Hell's Angels caught you, sans-hog, with a pair of these on...sit kiddo.

I just don't understand what brings people to the point where they feel they have to go overboard. Like black rimmed glasses without lenses, on people who have no vision problems. Maybe it's a problem I have with accessories, or rather, excessories. Sure, some of you will say, "Nah all that shit is hot", but in the end, why is it hot? What's so cool about being in your mid 20's and playing hipster dress-up to impress a group of strangers? Maybe I just feel I have nothing to prove. Maybe I'm not hardbody enough to rock biker gloves to a party in SoHo. Maybe I just don't understand the way the world works.

Give me some raw denim, this, these and I'm goody.