Another Reason To Never Eat Domino's

Domino’s has been the bane of my existence for the past 10 years. They’re pizza sucks, tasting of poorly recycled cardboard – it’s almost an embarrassment to call it pizza – they’re everywhere, and they don’t stuff their crust with deliciously gooey cheese, like the far superior chain-pizza from Pizza Hut.

Once, I tried Domino’s Philly Cheese Steak Pizza on a whim after seeing an enticing commercial and I spent the night pissing out of my ass wondering why I would eat something that looked like it was covered in semen.

Throw in the fact that they were founded by a right-wing Christian nut job, who’s using his billions to build an all-Catholic community in Florida called Ave Maria, and you might start empathizing with my detestation of this international chain.

And now this…

On Tuesday of this of week, I came across an interesting YouTube video (it has since been disabled) that shows two indolent workers at a North Carolina Domino’s sneezing, farting, and wiping their boogers on a delivery order for some of those new subs the company has been pimping. Geniuses that they are, the pair, who identify themselves as Kristy and Michael in the footage, posted the video on YouTube themselves. What the duo wasn’t anticipating was a backlash from YouTube viewers, who eventually contacted Domino’s to report the video. Soon thereafter, Kristy and Michael were fired and Domino’s released the following statement:

"We are appalled by the actions of these individuals and they do not represent the 125,000 hard-working men and women of Domino's Pizza across the country and in 60 countries around the world."

Well, I’m still appalled at the quality of your pizza, Domino’s, but I’m also a little worried that maybe that really was semen on my Philly Cheese Steak Pizza.