I used to think a Stimulus was when my pops hit me with 20 bucks to go out for the whole weekend. $2.50 for a pack of newports, $2.00 for a BL 40oz, $5.00 chips on weed, $3.00 for subway and you havin a hell of a weekend player, plus u got $7.50 for Saturday! Holla!
But alas, those innocent days have long gone. If you want an idea of what a grownup Stimulus package looks like you can check out the full version here. But what fun would that be reading 5 PDF's that are each 50+ pages long and looking in them for renewable energy pieces as well as potential pork-barrell spending (oh wait that was my job this last week).
For your viewing pleasure, I have compiled a list of some of the more interesting items that are going into Obama's rescue package (cue obama in a red speedo running into the beautiful California ocean saving america a la Baywatch).
- $100,000,000 for expedited development and deployment of border security technology on the Southwest border (also known as the 'get your fence on player!' act)
- For an additional amount for ‘‘Operation of Indian Programs’’, for workforce training programs and the housing improvement program, $40,000,000.
- ‘‘Student Financial Assistance’’ to carry out subpart 1 of part A and part C of title IV of the Higher Education Act of 1965 (‘‘HEA’’), $15,840,000,000!!!!!!!!!!!!
- in surface transportation infrastructure, $1,500,000,000. (Go public transpo!)
- THE BIG BOY: For an additional amount for restoration, repair, construction and other activities for passenger and freight rail transportation and port infrastructure projects, $27,500,000,000,
The list goes on and on and on and on and on. My own non-expert opinion from looking this thing a few times over is that the majority of the spending is in the 10-15 million dollar range and basically keeps existing government posts open through 2013. There's only a few projects in the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 (as it is officially called) that are incredibly ambitious and more than likely you have heard of them already.
Now lemme get a pack of newports and a 40oz player.
8 comments:
and my boy is signing it in Colorado! denver baby! i'm going. i'm actually out right now to go peep it.
thats whats up.
i think he wouldve gotten more repub votes if the "Get your fence on playa act" was the official name of that section.
whats not poppin is the butcher knife erasure of education and state funding (which pays for social welfare) from this jump off.
5$ chips on weed.... you must of been ballin... you know you can get 3 heads on nic blunt.
Soft pack of newports + a walkman + the D-Train.. and you're good to go playa
Hacksaw for president!
we bought a chicken sandwich, it was a dollar fifty
budget 7 dollars, nickle bag and white owl
i hope that chicken sandwich last us through the night child
HJT's tips for budgeting:
1) buying organic is not wassup
2) obv sneak jim beam into the club; order a class of ice-water w/lots of ice; chug ice-water (or dump on floor); poor in jim beam and proceed to get SUPER crunk.
3) eat at your parents crib as much as possible
4) hope the stimulus come your way (but it probably won't kiddo!)
Tip 2 also works with beer...as long as you can tolerate beer over ice or can find a discrete spot to dispose of the evidence
Not speaking from experience or anything...
New item found in the stimmy:
15 bucks to be paid to Tito for a lost game of horse...
Barack I'm reporting this to recovery.gov
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