Sexual Harrassment AlleGAYtions Against Eddy Curry

Fat, injured, and unbelievably over-payed Knicks center Eddy Curry is being sued for sexual harassment by his former limo driver. David Kuchinsky, 36, worked for Curry for three years as chauffeur for him and his family. Kuchinsky, who is straight, Jewish, and a convicted criminal (burglary, and resisting arrest) alleges that the fluffy 6'11" Curry made numerous sexual passes at him, repeatedly approaching him in the nude saying, "Look at me, Dave, look" and, "Come and touch it, Dave."
Kuchinsky claims that at times when Curry was not searching for curvy fellatio, he was busy shouting racist and anti-Semitic slurs such as, "fucking Jew", "cracker," "white slave," "white devil" and "grandmaster of the KKK." Kuchinsky also accused "the second shittiest center ever to be acquired by the Knicks" (after Frederic Weiss, of course) of twice pointing a loaded gun at the limo driver, conjuring traumatic memories of Jayson Williams and his dead chauffeur. Curry, who is married with several children, denies all allegations.
While it remains to be seen whether or not Kuchinsky is indeed a "cracker", "white devil", or the "grandmaster of the KKK", one thing is for sure: someone is lying. Whatever happens, and regardless of who is innocent, I hope that this fiasco results in freed space in the Knicks salary and the acquisition of Lebron James and power forward Chris Bosh. Bosh, who is known for his dominance on the court, his philanthropy off the court, and his dinosaur-like appearance, has never been publicly accused of racism, gun-toting, or sexual harassment.