Vodkatron's Wildin' Country of the Week: The Kingdom of Cambodia

Taiwan, Singapore, South Korea and Hong Kong are known as Asian Tigers for their remarkable economic growth during the 1990's. I say fuck that. Cambodia is the real Asian Tiger. Cambodia is number one! Cambodia is wihalalidinnnnn'! Now, I know what your thinking, "Vtron, slow your roll. The four Asian Tigers were titled as such because of their exemplary educational systems, their inspirational collective work ethics, and savvy development policies which allowed them to update their respective markets so they could be at the forefront of the global economy. These are not characteristics one would generally use to describe Cambodia." Maybe your right. Maybe Cambodia is one of the poorest, most corrupt, and most miss-managed countries in the world. But Cambodia has claws like a tiger. Its scary and, at the same time, beautiful like a tiger. And like a tiger, Cambodia is in the jungle.

While there were advanced civilizations in the region by the second century AD, it was not the ninth century until power was consolidated under the Khmer Empire. The Khmer were the most dominant civilization in southeast Asia. By the 12th century, they had completed the temple of Angkor Wat, the most recognizable historic feature in Cambodia. It symbolizes the prosperity of the Khmer people. But Angkor Wat the fuck happened?

After hundreds of years of fighting amongst the Khmer, internally, and also with the Thai and Vietnamese, Cambodia was under French rule from 1863-1953. By 1953, Cambodia already had an acting king in Prince Preah Karuna Preah Bat Sâmdech Preah Norodom Sihanouk Preahmâhaviraksat or Norodom Sihanouk, for short. The Guinness Book of World Records actually acredits him for serving in the greatest variety of political offices. What I want to know is who won longest name? With the Vietnam War in his backyard, Prince Sihanouk had wavering allegiances. After siding with China, than the US, than China and North Vietnam, he eventually alienated everyone through a late 60's campaign of political repression. In 1970, the much shorter named, Lon Nol seized power in a coup, when Sinahouk was in China. Lon was down with the US, which was probably a bad idea, considering our popularity in Southeast Asia. Norodom Sinahouk, however, had sided with the Maoist-I-bet-no-one-was-expecting-how-awful-they-would-be-when-they-got-power-rebel movement of the Khmer Rouge which was gaining popularity in rural Cambodia. The Khmer Rouge alligned with the Viet Cong. Due to this, dozens of VC units operated from the Cambodian side of their shared border. The US had a years-long bombing campaign to eradicate Viet Cong strongholds in Cambodia. The campaign really didn't work. What it did do was shift support away from the pro-American Lon Nol and towards the Khmer Rouge. It also resulted in the movement of roughly two million internally displaced persons (domestic refugees) into Phnom Pen.

Led by Pol Pot, (think Kim Jung Il, only two Russian Babushka dolls bigger....and less cartoon mouse-ish) the Khmer Rouge captured the entire country, and, lastly, the capital. Their first move was to change Cambodia's official name from the Kingdom of Cambodia to Democratic Kampuchea. Their next move was to force the entire urban population of the newly-democratic Kampuchea to march into the countryside for rural work projects. I bet that was when everyone realized that the Khmer Rouge really knew how to give the people what they wanted. But even the most salty, hardbody-hater, Cambodian skeptics must have been convinced that Pol Pot was the best when he banned western medicine. "Hey doc, I have dysentary. Do you have any anti-biotics?" "Fuck no, eat this mixture of leaves and monkey blood, and get at me in the morning." Of course, for hundreds of thousands of Cambodian's, there was no morning, as they died on the "Outward March".

Estimates project that around 200,000 people were murdered by the Khmer Rouge, while anywhere from one to three million people died as a direct result of their policies. All the while, Pol Pot blamed the whole 'mass-murder thing' on Vietnam, claiming that all the Cambodian's his regime killed were actually Vietnamese spies. (Supposedly, that's why we really fired the Kool Man. Anybody that spent any time with him suspected he was a Vietnamese spy. What really tipped me off was when we were at Saigon Grill and he ordered the chicken satay by its Vietnamese name.)

In 1991, a comprehensive peace agreement was signed and the mass killings ceased. A constitution was written in 1993, and despite an attempted coup in 1997, things have been relatively stable. The Khmer Rouge have gradually lost all their political clout and now are less than one thousand men strong, and live in the jungles of northeastern Cambodia. Cambodia remains the third most corrupt state in the region, behind Myanmar and Laos. According to some obscure foreign news source called the BBC, the Cambodian government siphons a significant proportion of foreign aid into private overseas bank accounts.

Whats currently Noteworthy in da Kingdom?

Fuck, sorry guys, but this video is really sad. Its the story of a sex worker with AIDS. If you are indeed moved by this video, to the point that you would like to learn more or donate money or time, know that World Hope International (the producer of this video) is a Christian-based NGO. If you are like me and prefer your not-for-profits to be non-partisan and unaffiliated with Christ and his teachings, another option is humantrafficking.org


The Khmer Rap Boyz perform their smash hit "Sexy Cream". At first, I assumed these dudes were clowns because, I mean, look at them. But than, I remembered how thugged out they probably are. The song is actually kind of catchy, and the video is in the poorest town that has ever been filmed for any reason other than showing how poor the town being filmed is. Also, the Khmer Rap boyz probably know some Pradal Serey.


"Gee, sexy cream is great, and the Khmer Rap Boyz are my favourite....but whats Pradal Serey?" Find out, while listening to Survivor's classic "Eye of the Tiger".


This is a National Geographic Video about hunting and deforestation in the Cambodian Jungle. The moral is poach eggs, not tigers.


VT's FAVOURITE SONG ABOUT THE KINGDOM OF CAMBODIA:
This week, I am adding another section to Vodkatron's Wildin' Country of the Week. Its called "VT's Favourite Song About (insert relevant country name here)". So VT's Favourite Song About Haiti is "Haiti" by The Arcade Fire, and VT's Favourite Song About Serbia is "Serbia Number One Through Fifty in Singing...Russia is 51, but Serbia Rocks the Hardest!" by Surgeon Milacocasic. Without further ado, the Dead Kennedy's 1980 release, "Holiday in Cambodia".